It has been so fun (and not always easy) to blog for the last 30 days, this is the most consistent I have ever been. Thank you Angela and Ashlee for doing it with me, it has been so fun to see what you have been grateful for, and I have learned a lot about you, and from you :).
Today I am grateful for legacies. A legacy is the whole reason I started this blog. I wanted to carry on my grandfathers legacy of leather work. I have not been the best about doing it, and I hope to get better as I try to do it more. I did however do some leather work this week. Leigha helped too with the deer, one is for her and one is for her friend.
The Nativity scene I have been wanting to do for a while, and I was really happy with how it turned out until a drip of water from my stain brush landed on Mary's forehead and now she looks Indian, oh well.
I have been reading a lot of family history stories, and have been working on turning one of them into a children's book for my family. It has been so much fun to look how the little things that people did were what turned into the biggest things for our whole family. I am so grateful for their choices and the legacies they have left behind for me. I am grateful for the legacy of strength and hard work but most especially of faith and for the gospel. I hope a testimony of the gospel is a legacy I will be able to pass on to my children and all of my descendants.
I am grateful for my grandpa's legacy. I am so grateful that I have gotten to be so close to him, and that I was able to live with him and my grandma for one of the hardest times of my life... the teen years. I am grateful for their legacy of love and faith and endurance. I am grateful for their legacy of service. They served 4 missions together and I am so grateful for their amazing example. My grandmas legacy has changed my life as well, she had cancer for 34 years and never let it stop her from doing the most important things (including all 4 of those missions). I am so grateful that I was able to watch them and see how they lived their lives day to day. I loved sitting at the top of the stairs every night as I secretly listened to them study the scriptures together and talk about how much they loved the scriptures. I gained so much from their examples.
I am grateful for my mom and the legacy she is leaving me. She is the most kind and gentle woman. She is also so strong and a miracle. I remember almost every night from sneaking listening to my parents to my moms room to say good night, and nearly every night the door would open a crack and then stop because it would hit my mom (I promise this was not abusive). She would be kneeling in prayer, and I would listen until she was done so I could give her a hug good night. I am so grateful for her legacy of prayer and of love.
I hope that I can leave a good legacy for my children. I hope they will know and never doubt how much I love them, and also how much I love the Lord.
I am grateful for the legacies of so many other people who have had a huge impact on my life.
Today I came to a realization that my kids are awesome (this is not the first time I have come this realization, it's about a daily occurrence). They always have been awesome. We love them, they are hard and crazy but simply amazing. I am so grateful for my kids and for who they are, and who they are becoming.
Today, specifically, Don and I are grateful for their desire to be good and especially to be healthy. We have not been the perfect examples of health, not even close. But they understand how important it is to be healthy and they encourage us in our goals. Here are just a few examples from today:
-the kids encourage Don to go the gym, and mommy to get some needed rest to get better
- the kids helped us get up and get moving at the park by playing tag
- the kids are seeing how Don is succeeding at his goals and they are letting him know how proud of him they are
- the kids are constantly eating fruits and veggies, we actually have to get after them to stop eating so many vegetables... and then we look at each other in bewilderment and gratitude
- the kids instead of asking for a snack ask specifically for a healthy snack.
- the kids come in and join me or cheer me on when I exercise (which was not today, but I am still grateful for it)
- tonight we had jello for dessert and they ate lima beans instead (and cucumbers, cauliflower, broccoli, and carrots)
I am so grateful for them and for how strong they already are. I hope that Don and I can help them to stay this way forever so hopefully they won't have to deal with the same challenges we have. They are wonderful examples to us, and wonderful motivators and I love them SO much! They make life fun and worth it, even when it is hard (which is a lot of the time). They are so strong and silly and just plain wonderful.
Day #29: I am grateful for overly happy and overly healthy kids.
Today did not turn out quite as we had expected... case and point, we are in Elko! I just kept getting sicker and we decided that it would be best to stay here.
Even though we have not done anything remotely Thanksgiving-y, it has been a great day. I am grateful for this time to kind of re-coup and get better. I am grateful that Don has been taking care of me, and that he has whole weekend off (although I hope I am better by tomorrow). I am grateful that we did not go to Utah, I think it would have been too hard, and although we miss seeing family and eating the fun foods it is better to not get them sick too. I am grateful that my kids were accepting, even though mommy being sick and not going to Utah is hardest on them... especially since they know they are having hot dogs for dinner (hot dogs have to have some turkey in it right?)
We had a great Thanksgiving and we hope you did too!
Happy Thanksgiving
Day #28: I am grateful for my amazing family! I am grateful for health (soon to be health)! I am grateful to be here in Elko, for a nice warm apartment, and wonderful friends. I am grateful for so many things.
Today I am sick, my throat hurts. I am really grateful that I had some juice to sneak down it.
Juice has helped my life so much this year. It has helped me get and stay in remission, it has helped me lose weight and feel better about myself. It has helped my family get on a path to being healthier, and my kids love it! It has helped my skin, it has helped my eyes, it has helped pretty much everything.
I am not a "serious juicer", but with the amount that I have done it has truly helped me.
Day #27- I am grateful for Juice, and produce, and healthy living. Happy Thanksgiving tomorrow!
Today I did not get everything done that I had planned on, in fact I hardly got anything done at all! This stresses me out beyond belief but I am grateful for the things that I was able to do today, even though they were not on "the list".
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE to do lists, it is pretty much how I run my life. I really enjoy being able to check things off, and being able to track progression and accomplishments. I had a to do list, and it went out the window. Most of the time this would be really hard for me (especially since we are leaving to go to Utah for Thanksgiving and there is nothing I dis-like more than coming home to work), but today I was able to other things that were equally as important (probably not, but to me they seemed that way at the time.
Hopefully tomorrow I will be able to kick it into gear and get EVERYTHING done, even the things that I started today that weren't on the list.
Day #26: I am grateful for to-do lists, but today I am even more grateful that I was able to get more important things done.
Today I am so grateful for Don (I am grateful for him everyday). He went to work even though he was sick. I have noticed that there are a lot of even though things that Don does that shows me the type of man he truly is, and how much he loves us.
He goes to school even though it is not easy on us because of work, time, finances and so many other things. I am so proud of him that he has not given up on that goal even though it would have been easier to just get into the workplace.
He is such a hard worker even though the job he does has not been his dream job as of late. Things have gotten more difficult at work, but he works so hard in spite of it, and he does a fabulous job. He could use that time to do so many other things, but he is providing for us.
He is so kind and loving every day even though I know that he is tired and had to deal with a lot of problems. Plus he shows me he loves me even though sometimes I can be a huge brat.
He has set so many wonderful goals and even though some days he feels like giving up he never does. He is so strong.
He is patient with our kids (and with me) when I am not even though it would be easier for him to be upset as well. He is an amazing dad. Tonight he took Conner to the store with him even though it would not have taken as long if he had left him home. Conner told him that he loves to hang out with his dad(how cute is that?!) And even though he came back with treats I would not typically buy I am grateful that they got to spend that time together and have fun.
He supports me in my crazy ideas even though he might not see the ending from the beginning or understand the big picture that I am trying to accomplish. He helps me so much.
He lets me try and go to sleep first because I have a hard time falling asleep even though he might be really tired (I try not to let him do that).
He eats my cooking and compliments me on it even though most of my recipes are made up and sometimes we discover why there are recipes (most of the time the stuff is pretty awesome though). Or tells me that I am pretty even though my hair might not be done or I have a lot of other things strewn (or spewed) across my clothes.
I love to be with him and he does his best to make time for me even though he is stretched so thin with so many other things. He is amazing and I am so grateful for him. He is my best friend. He knows how to make me smile. He has stood by me and helped me and strengthen me. He is so sweet and thoughtful. I love him so incredibly much and even though life at times is hard and marriage is hard (for everyone) I am so grateful that he is my eternal companion.
I know he would not see these things as even thoughs because it is who he is, he doesn't see his love for us as a sacrifice, and that is another thing that I absolutely love about him.
Day #25: I am so grateful for Don.
p.s. Here is a funny story from today.: Conner's bike got stolen last night. I am not that upset about it. I only spent $4 on it and I figure the person who wanted must have really wanted it because they left the razor scooter, Leigha's bike and the bike lock ( I spent more on the bike lock than the bike). I did not realize that the last time we put the bike away Conner left the key in the lock.
Conner does not like his bike. I was still a little nervous to tell him. We were doing speech and one of the words he had to practice was bicycle, I decided that was the perfect segway to telling him about his bike. here is how it went:
Me: Speaking of bikes I have some sad news to tell you, I am sorry but your bike was stolen last night.
Conner: no way! You promise?
He then races outside to make sure that his dreams had come true. I was just glad he was not crushed, and I hope the little boy who has it now will like it more than Conner, and who knows maybe next year I can find a $4 bike he will actually like.
Sorry I did not post yesterday, but I was working on it :)
In Sacrament meeting Sister Hirst gave her homecoming talk. She talked about gratitude (fitting for the week) and one thing that she said I took as a challenge. She said she had found an article that talked about 100 things to be grateful for in 10 different areas. She worked on her gratitude during Sacrament meeting (I think that is an awesome idea!) I tried my hardest to write down all 10 categories, but I only got 9 of them.
So when I got home from church, I went to my room (after picking up a bit) and worked on it. I did not type them up because the only way I could do this was to let the kids have the computer to play lds.org so I could have some quiet time (Don had the laptop and trying to do it on the i-pad or phone just seemed too hard.... funny how that works huh?)
I was surprised that it really wasn't that much of a challenge. And I ended up doing 100 after all... I could not think of what #9 was (she went really fast!) so I decided to do it on talents. That was the hardest one for me to think of 10 talents that I might have, so I talked to Don about it and he mentioned several things that I did not recognize as talents. It is great to have his perspective. I love him so much!
If you want to give it a try here are 9 of the things she mentioned of 10, and then you can really do what ever you want, but talents was a kind of uplifting one (especially when you fish for compliments from your doting hubby).
1- 10 living people
2- 10 people who have passed on
3- 10 physical abilities
4- 10 material possessions
5- 10 things about nature
6- 10 things today
7- 10 places on earth
8- 10 things about the gospel
9- 10 modern inventions
10- 10 talents foods
Never mind, I found the article she read :) It is great... and the thing I forgot was 10 foods (that would have been easier than talents :)) Here is a link to the article, it is a great read :) http://www.lds.org/liahona/2011/12/the-choice-to-be-grateful
Day #24: I am grateful for inspired Sacrament talks, and for all of my MANY MANY blessings... way more than 100, I could do 100, 100 x's and not even scratch the surface.
Today I got to go hang out with Angela. We went and saw the play seven brides for seven brothers. It was a lot of fun to get out and see something. I love going to plays. I love musicals (I think we already knew that though). And sometimes going to small town productions can be really fun (primarily because you know people in the cast).
It was fun to see several ward members up on stage, and even more in the audience supporting them. I am not sure that I will ever look at the performers the same again, but who knows maybe that's a good thing. Angela and I were talking and we both concluded that being on the stage is not for us. I am grateful that it is for some people though, and I am grateful that one of my talents can be to go support theirs and enjoy it.
Thought you might want to enjoy a bit of what we got to.
Day #23: I am grateful I got to go and enjoy some culture. Thank you Angela for coming and picking me up :)
I know this is probably a bit early, but I have been getting into the Christmas spirit, and you know what that means Christmas MUSIC!!!!
Here is the song that has been in my head today:
Christmas Don't Be Late by the chipmunks
And here is why:
Christmas won't be late at our house this year.... early absolutely... too early, quite possibly.
I used to hate putting up a Christmas tree before Thanksgiving! When I worked at Tai Pan we had to set them up toward the end of August so for years I was a scrooge that we had to wait. It's been 10 years since then, and Thanksgiving seems so late this year. Plus I buy most of my stuff on clearance sells for the next year and I gotta know what I got so I can be prepared.
It was fun to set it up tonight while listening to our favorite Christmas CD's (i.e. Bing Crosby, Paisley, and Mindy Gledhill) and then watch a few Christmas shows with the kiddos. The kids were great and had a lot of fun, that being said there will be some a lot of redistribution of ornaments (I think Conner put 4 on one twig thing.... several times!)
Day #22: I am glad that we got to spend some fun time as a family and create some great memories.
I forgot waited to mention this but on Sunday I got a new calling. I am now serving as Second Counselor in the Young Women Presidency. I LOVE serving in Young Women!!!
When they issued the call Don looked at me and said; "Back to where you belong", and it felt good. I looked at him and just yipped with joy. I am excited, maybe overly excited.
Tonight was my first activity, and I have to admit, I did have the butterfly's. When I walked in the church Mikala was sitting in the foyer. She gave me a big smile... complimented my jacket... and said she was so excited that I was her new leader. Butterflies instantly dissipated.
I think it is awesome that I get to be with the beehives as well since I know all the ones who will be coming in from being with them (and continuing to be with them in activity days... I was not released from that calling (yet and hopefully they just forget)) and I already know Mikala because of activity days as well. And I have worked so much with laurels (laurel adviser twice and yw pres twice) that I am excited to be with younger girls.
I LOVE getting to serve with the youth! I love to see them grow and discover and develop. The gospel is so exciting and I love it so much, and I hope I can help them see that as well. I have missed being in the mutual program for the last 2 years so much that it does almost feel like coming home. I already love the girls and the leaders, I just hope I can be as awesome as they all already are!
This is kinda funny. Don and I had a bet going on how long it would take for me to be mistaken as a young woman. He said it would happen if I went to camp, and I said I am 29 now, my body has been wrecked in the last 2 years, I am no spring chicken and it's not going to happen. Well guess what we were both wrong, it already happened tonight. We were combined with another ward and the other wards leader mixed me up with the girls. I am not sure how I should take that, so I will just add it to my list of times it has happened. ("They let a pregnant laurel come to camp!!!" (spoken shouted by a bishop) is still my favorite)
Day #21: I am grateful for my new calling, and for all the amazing girls and leaders in the ward who have already made me feel welcomed and loved.
By the title of this you might think that Conner takes naps, and I get to do something slightly productive, but your assumptions would be wrong. Today I got a nap! A LONG nap! An oops I slept 3 hours nap. It felt very good and is a very rare occasion in deed.
I laid down with the intent to sleep for 45 minutes, and I just totally conked out. I didn't wake up until 1:45 and we had to rush out the door to get Leigha, and then everything was a mad rush for the rest of the afternoon.
Taking a nap was probably not my brightest idea, but I really needed the rest. I feel bad that Netflix pretty much took care of Conner today, but it was the first time it has been on in the day time in a while (and most of the time it is just a weekend treat).
Hopefully tonight I will be able to go to bed.
Day #20: I am grateful for unexpected naps, and for Conner for letting me take one.
Today it was so cold!!! It was definitely a hot chocolate and slippers sort of day. Because of the chilliness for dinner we decided to have soup. It was just what I needed, a hot bowl of potato bacon chowder, and some warm corn bread straight for the oven. YUM!!! It was so good, I think we will have it again tomorrow (hip hip hooray for leftovers!).
Mid-late November is my happy time (really the end of any season is my happy time, but most especially mid-late November). I love the let's get this junk out of here, so we can put out Christmas stuff SALES!!!! I LOVE getting a good deal (it's better than hot chocolate)!
This past week I have found some great deals. Don says it is a tithing blessing that I can find deals so much. I even got really nice toothbrushes today TOTALLY FREE (I am not a couponer at all, unless it is attached to it (which it was)). I got like 65 items at walmart today for under $7 (20 of those items were boxes of m&m's)! I LOVE good deals. I got some crazy awesome wigs for .10 each... who doesn't need a half blonde half pink wig? And I got either carnival favors or toy passing out for trick or treaters instead of candy stuff.
Day #18: I am grateful for clearance isles and good deals!
Two years ago yesterday my life changed dramatically, but not as dramatically as we thought (which is a wonderful thing). Yesterday was the 2 year anniversary of my mg (myasthenia gravis) diagnosis, and I am back to being me, but probably a better me because of it. It was HARD for a long time, it effected about everything and everyone in my life (to a small extent I guess it still does), but life is good and my future is bright. I am in a non-medicated remission... which I was told would never happen.
For a LONG time I have wanted to share a few things I have learned through all of this, so this will be a LONGER post (I will limit it to 10) and you do not have to read it (not that you ever have to read it) but it will be good for me and my posterity to have a record.
This Carrie Underwood song always seems to come up in my head (yes I live in a very musical world) every time I think about writing this post... so I think I need to share it:
Number One Lesson Learned: The Lord knows us FAR better than we know ourselves! You know that whole "Faith in God also includes faith in His timing" saying? Well that is certainly true. Don and I had discussed having another baby in the February of 2011, and we both felt really good about it, but things just never seemed to work out that it happened...which was good because the baby would have been born right as I got sick, and there would have been NO way I could have taken care of a baby when the whole world was taking care of me. Then in October when our car broke down we felt again that it was time to try, so we bought a van...two weeks later... BAM! We actually had the Dr's appt set to get everything in order. Now that is something that is off the shelf for us, but I am grateful that the Lord knew me better and what I could handle. I have learned A LOT of sympathy for women who do not or cannot have children. I am grateful for the 2 wonders I have! :) Number Two: The Blessings of the Temple are Literal and Eternal! For my Grandpa's 85th birthday he asked for each of his descendants to write him a time when faith had impacted them, for Christmas we will get a copy of all of our families stories (SO EXCITED!!!)... here is my excerpt for Lesson Number 2: "Upon thinking about a faith promoting experience I have had one come to mind constantly, but it is not one that I ever thought I would share, but I am grateful for the chance to share it with the people I love.
As many of you know, last year at the end of October I got the flu, and it was just your run of the mill 24 hour flu, it came and went, but after it was over my eyes started to feel weird, so I talked to Don about it and we decided it was probably just a sinus infection. I went to an optometrist just in case my prescription had changed since I did not have any other symptoms. She said my eyes were fine and perfectly healthy. A few days passed and my eyes just felt really weird and by the end of the week I was starting to have double vision so I asked for a blessing, we did not have home teachers in our ward so Don and his home teaching companion gave me a blessing, and advised me to go see a doctor.That night was Leigha's 6th Birthday, and I just felt so weird. I remember looking at my mom across the table and seeing right through her to the kids on the other side. I knew something was not right, and that night my eyes started to look in different directions.
The next day was Halloween and I went to the doctor and she said it was not a sinus infection and that it was not normal and she sent me to an ophthalmologist. We were lucky to get into an ophthalmologist that day. The ophthalmologist spent a long time with me doing a lot of different tests because at this point my eyes were no longer looking in the same direction and in my vision nothing was fixed and the whole world was contorted. I was seeing doubles and triples of things, and nothing was fixed, everything was just floating until it got to the center of my vision when it collided with each other (the world was a completely new place). She said I needed to see a Neurologist and quick, that it could be a brain tumor or multiple sclerosis and I needed to get it checked immediately. I remember being nervous but knew that I needed to be strong for my children and carry on with business as usual, so we went trick or treating (I was a pirate, having one eye covered seemed to help). I remember feeling that I wanted to cherish the moments because I did not know what would happen.
I had an MRI that week and thankfully it was not a brain tumor, but we had no idea what was going on. The days went on and by the end of the week I was a big mess, something that had started as the flu had now effected my vision, the muscles on one side of my face no longer worked and my skin drooped because the muscles would no longer hold them up and it felt numb, I had a hard time speaking because I would slur my words I could not chew or swallow food after a few bites, at points I felt like I could not breath or catch my breath and the muscles in my arms and legs were not performing the way I wanted them to. I had to wait 2 weeks to meet with a Neurologist and we were being told everything by everyone, but the main consensus was that it was just stress. The whole time all I could feel was that I NEEDED to go to the temple.
My wonderful mom was so loving and willing and she volunteered to take me to the Mt. Timpanogos Temple. Since all of this had happened the only time I had really left the house was to go to church or doctors, and that was really hard because I was so self conscious about how I looked and sounded. I remember having the same anxious feelings about attending the temple and doubting if I should even go, but the spirit urged me on. I wondered would people look at me? Would I be able to say what I needed to say clearly? Would my offering be accepted? We got to the temple and the first thing I did was walk right into a wall, my mom took me by the hand, and then just walked with me. She is a temple worker at the temple so a few of the people there knew what was going on and I was already in their prayers, and on the prayer roll. I could literally feel the prayers of the Saints in the temple help me as I went through the whole experience.
We decided to do initiatory and I remember going in with my fist proxy initiatory and hearing the blessings and as I listened to the blessings I felt my body actually being healed. I thought it was amazing and I was so grateful that I had decided to go to the temple, then as I would leave to wait to do proxy for another name all of my infirmities would come back, and then I would hear those blessings again as a different proxy sister and have the same healing throughout my whole body, and again it would leave me as I prepared to do the work for another person. This happened several times, it was an amazing experience. As I left the temple I had this overwhelming peace… I understood that the blessings we receive in the temple are literal and eternal, and physical and spiritual. I was not receiving the blessing for myself at the time, but those blessings are blessings I will have for eternity, and my body at that time was spiritually blessed. I entered the temple knowing I had faith, but not knowing if I had enough faith to sustain me through the trial my family was going through. When I left the temple I knew that I had enough faith and I was able to see more clearly the blessings this trial was giving me and my family. It was still hard, but I knew that the promises of the Lord are real and whatever was to happen was according to His will.
I am so grateful for a LOVING Savior who suffered ALL of our pains, weaknesses, infirmities, insecurities, and illnesses, and that He has provided ways to bless us. I know that we are prepared for every blessing, and every trial, and both of those blessings come from faith in the Lord, Jesus Christ."
Lesson 3:The Day I Was Deemed "Disabled"
I had a huge conflict of interest in my prayers as we were facing my disease. I did not know what the road ahead looked like, but I knew that it was going to be very expensive, very fast. My medications alone are almost $200 a month, and then you add in going to the Neurologist every 2 weeks for 4 months and then once a month for 4 more months, plus my biannual testing of cat scans, pulmonary heart test, blood work, nerve and muscle stress test, etc. etc. etc. I knew we would need help and with my diagnosis that I would probably qualify for disability medicaid.I remember praying that we would get it because I was carrying a huge guilt of how I was taxing my family physically and emotionally and how adding financially would devastate us. The process was hard, and the day I got the letter I was happy and then it sank in... I am 27 and disabled, and relying on the government to help me with my medical bills. That was something I had NEVER planned in a million years, and it hit me really hard. After the initial elation that sincere prayers had been answered it sunk in that I was never going to be the same or be viewed the same...so I took a bath, and just cried and prayed and cried...and I remember having the MOST distinct feeling almost as an audible voice... " I took on all the pains and infirmities and the illnesses of the world, and you would never think of Me as disabled." My tears of sorrow instantly became tears of joy and my perspective was changed as I looked at this as another way to partake in the AMAZING gift of the Atonement, and as another testimony that I am known to my Savior, and not alone in anything EVER! What an amazing and special gift we have, and although I will never fully comprehend the love He has for me I am more able to comprehend and strengthen my love for Him. I am now in another state and am being blessed to not have to be on disability... hopefully a blessing that will last a long time.
Lesson 4: I Want to be A Nephi, not a Lame-an
I will be honest with you, these past 2 years have been HARD (especially the first year!) and a lot of the time I really just wanted to whine and complain... and a lot of the time I think I did. I remember feeling really sorry for myself and then remembering the lesson of Laman and Lemuel vs. Nephi and Sam. They were put in the same situation as each other, one group CHOSE to be optimistic and happy, and the other group CHOSE to be pessimistic and whiny. I decided I could make a CHOICE too, and to not murmur. So whenever I felt like a wanted to whine and complain I just said murmur murmur murmur until I was smiling. It is actually quite a fun thing to say, and even funner to see others reactions when I did it in public :)
Lesson 5: Be Your Own Kind of Beautiful
I almost named this one...I'm so vain! (you probably think this song is about you... another song AHHH!) I did not realize how much my happiness depended upon how I looked instead of who I was... and I don't think I am really a high maintenance or really even cared too much about my appearance. The medications have really taken its toll on my body to the point where I did not recognize myself at all. I gained 40 pounds in 2 months, lost a lot of hair (except where the mustache grew in), none of my clothes fit, and as my husband so lovingly told me I looked like a line backer, or as Leigha said I looked like the chick from Puss in Boots! I had a hard time going out in public (only to church, and the dr. for several months) not only from the shame of a droopy face and non-aligned eyes, but because of my normal physical appearance as well.I had to walk slow, and I was often dropped over like an old lady. One place I refused to give up was the Dollar Tree, I was shopping (at opening when no one is there) and looking at cleaners when a wall sticker caught my eye... it said "Be your own kind of beautiful". I burst into tears right there in the Dollar Tree, it was exactly what I needed. I needed a reminder that I am beautiful no matter what I look like, and that I needed to not be so hard on myself especially in front of my precious daughter who hears everything I say, and models her actions after mine. It now proudly hangs under my mirror in the bathroom as a reminder to me that I am beautiful in my own way, even when I have facial hair that could rival a trucker.
I am being brave and sharing some pictures Leigha took of me on her camera, I did not know that they existed, but I am grateful that they do.
Lesson 6: The Power of Music in Healing the Body and Soul As we have already established (or in case you hadn't noticed), music plays a huge roll in my life. I feel that music can speak to my soul, and it has a lot of effect on my spirit and attitude. A few weeks after I was diagnosed one of the sweet ladies at my moms work gave me a Hilary Weeks CD. I LOVE listening to it. There is one song that I felt was written just for me (probably a million people feel this way). I remember listening to it while struggling with my hands to do leather work and feeling alone and just crying, not in a bad way, but in a loved way. I remember listening to it before and after discouraging dr.'s appts. I remember listening to it A LOT! Everyone really tried to understand, but I did feel very alone, and when I felt alone I felt selfish. This song helped remind me that I am not alone and it helped keep me from murmuring, but to have true perspective. It helped me understand that I do not need to know all the answers because He knows them. I do not need to carry everything on my own, because really I never do, I ALWAYS have help.
Now I love to listen to this song, also by Hilary weeks. I love the woman I have become because of this, and I love the woman I am becoming. I thought for a while that my life was over, there about 9 months where it was so hard to function as a person, if I had to hold a sign I would hope now that mine would say: Life has been hard, but totally worth it. (As a former suicidal person (when I was a teen) that is a great realization).
Lesson 7: Loving Visiting Teachers can change not only your day, but your life! With going through the whole medicaid process I had to go and take a class to declare which policy would be best for me. By this point I had gained so much weight that the only clothes that would fit me were my maternity clothes. It made me very sad to wear them when at that moment I would give ANYTHING to just be pregnant (that was the plan after all.... silly plans :)). I went down to the county building and waited for the class, as I sat there pregnant woman after pregnant woman showed up. We went to the classroom and I kid you not, there were 15 pregnant women and me.
They gave the whole class (which was solely focused on pregnancy) and I sat there and listened, embarrassed, and hurting. When the class was over I went to the instructor and explained that I was not pregnant but disabled. I had to have a different presentation, but they did it super fast for me. The experience was very draining and painful, but I did not want to admit that, to anyone, ever. I cried in the car the whole way home.
I prayed a lot and that night there was a knock on the door. It was my sweet visiting teachers Callie and Aubrey, they had an impression that they needed to bring me dinner so they went and got KFC. They had NO idea what had happened that day, or how I was feeling. They were just 2 loving friends who felt prompted to do something and did not know that their actions have changed my life.
Lesson 8: We cannot see others trials, physical or not
When we were in Utah and I was not feeling and my kids were wild I would take my kids to Provo Beach Resort to play on the playground (my loving siblings provided me with a gift card so I could take my kids and they could have fun and I could be a lump). One of the times we were there, the kids were on the playground and I was laying on the benches reading my scriptures. I could not physically sit up. There was another family there, and the mom was also sitting on the benches across from me. I instantly judged her, and I should not have... I have learned. She was tattooed all over, her hair was unkempt, her kids were a mess and I cruelly judged her in my mind.
We started the typical mom conversation. How old are your kids? What are their names? You know the like. The conversation changed when she asked... Are you on steroids? (an odd question, but it was pretty obvious that I was because of my moon face). I said yes and we got to talking, it turned out that she had MS, she was there for the same reason that I was and I felt awful that I had judged her so harshly.
We ended up talking for about 2 hours, it was nice to have someone to talk to who could understand being a mom and dealing with a disability. We talked about all sorts of things, we were so similar, we had gone to the same doctors, had many of the similar tests, dealt with the same judgments from others, and other things.
I learned that day, the hard way, that I cannot look at a person and begin to understand who they are, where they are coming from, what they are dealing with, what their heart feels. I realized that everyone is going through a hard time, and everyone is being disabled in some way. Mine at that moment was my disease, but before that I had been disabled by selfishness, or my past, or by my own unrealistic self expectations, or a pluthera of other things. And I realized that everyone is dealing with things, some things are seen but most are not. I have tried to be kinder since that experience, I have also tried to be more patient because I learned if we are patient with ourselves and others than we are given opportunities to help.
I realized I wanted to be a force for good, and try and brighten people. I set a goal to say something kind and genuine to someone daily. A lot of times it has been awkward and I don't know that what I have said has helped but I hope that it has... it has helped me. It has helped me look for the good and I feel that I have become less harsh.
In our last Stake Conference Sister Gay said something that has resonated in my mind. She said, "We do not have the capability to judge. We do not have the privilege to read between the lines." I loved that! I hope I can live by it more fully, I am still working on it (A LOT!).
Lesson 9: When it is Right, the Lord ALWAYS Prepares a Way...even if it takes while or is SUPER fast!
When we decided to move to Elko, it was a very quick decision as in less than a month and a half we were here and settled (that includes trainging time, and it would have been sooner, but we stayed in Utah an extra week to participate in Anne and Adams wedding).... and if you know Elko, that is really fast. It was a hard decision to come here, but an AMAZING blessing! I was starting to get well and leaving behind my support system, family, doctors who knew me and understood me, and all the other amazing blessings of Utah was a trial of faith, but we felt it was right and here we are.
Our biggest concern was that Elko does not have a neurologist and if something were to happen we would be left here with no way of getting appropriate help (especially if it were to effect my breathing). And losing disability insurance was also very unsettling because it is very expensive to be sick. With all these factors in mind we still decided to come because we feel that this is where the Lord wants us for now.
When we lost the insurance and the doctors, I knew I would have to do it on my own. I worked hard and weaned myself from my medications. It was scary but at the same time freeing! I went from taking 17 pills a day to now only taking one for my thyroid (and vitamin supplements when I am a good girl). I have had a relapse but was able to manage my way through it on my own. I know I will not always be in remission while we are here, but I feel that because we are faithful (and we are here) that we have been so blessed with health and understanding.
We were also blessed with finding our apartment. everyone told us it would be months before we would find something but it took one day, and we got the EXACT floor plan I wanted on the bottom floor for when I am not in remission. To me it was a confirmation that this is where the Lord wants us and the He knew my concerns and needs.
Another thing was finding a pharmacy that would even have my medications. I called before moving here and there was no one that would. Thankfully the first week I lived here I met Michele. Her husband is a pharmacist and he has made sure that I had everything I needed, and helped to make it the easiest on me. The Lord has placed so many people and blessings in my life as a result of living here.
Lesson 10: Laughter is the best medicine
I love to laugh, and laughing at myself helped me a lot. Although I was self conscience a lot about how I looked, when it wasn't frustrating it was funny. When I could not speak, as long as I was just with my family, it was funny. When I could not chew, it was pretty funny to have food slipping down my face (i don't know that my kids will have the best manners because of it, but I also have an awesome Mother-in-law who is Miss Manners, and she has been able to right the wrong). When I could see through things, it was pretty funny, like a superhero. And when I was laughing I felt happier, that's how I am now. I love to laugh! (uh...oh... now there is Singin' in the rain in my head!) I love to find joy. There are SO MANY other things I have learned as well. I hope to record them at another time, or even just as a draft, and some of them are more personal, like the love from family and friends.
Day#17: I am grateful that I have Myasthenia Gravis. I am grateful for my past. I am grateful for who it has made me. I am grateful for ALL the love and support I have gotten from my Savior, my sweet husband, my amazing kids who have had to deal with a lot, my amazing family and friends, and even complete strangers! I am grateful for these lessons and many others I have learned. I am grateful for the plan of salvation and the opportunity to have a mortal body, even when it is hard. I am grateful that someday I will get to experience a perfect body and won't have the cares and concerns I do now, but I will get to keep the lessons.
Today is the 2 year anniversary of my mg diagnosis. I started a huge long post about the things I have learned (finally) but ran out of time. Hopefully I can finish that one tomorrow (I WILL finish that one tomorrow! It has been 2 years in the making).
Tonight we got to go on a double date with Bruce and Michele to go see Thor. It was a great movie and even better company, but most of all it was fun to be an adult. Sometimes I forget what that feels like (not that it is a bad thing I don't remember). Don and I get to be together a lot but it is different when you are out with other people.
Day #16: I am grateful for some grown up time away from kids, and time with great friends (with whom we can act like kids).
I am also grateful for the 90% off halloween sale at k-mart. :)
This morning there was snow! Leigha wanted to race out and build a snowman like she did last time, but there was not time this morning so she had to wait until after school. The only problem with waiting until after school was that there was not nearly as much snow... especially in front of our apartment. No worries though my ingenuitive little girl just went to the back of the building and built one there. But, that was not good enough, it needed to be at the front of the building (so.... it can melt faster). So Leigha rolled the snow balls all the way around to the front (the long way).
In the meantime Conner was trying to help Leigha, he came to me:
Conner: "Mom, Leigha needs a carrot for the nose." I give him a carrot he sticks it straight in his mouth.
Mom: "I thought that was a nose?"
Conner: "Uhhh. I am going to need another one." I hand him another one and he sticks it straight in his mouth! (I am not too worried, because he is eating vegetables after all)
Me: "Do you NEED a nose or do you just WANT carrots?"
Conner: "I need a nose can I have another one?" I give him another one, he walks out the door, not 3 seconds later the door bell rings, his mouth is stuffed with carrots (the mini kind) "I need another one"
It was too funny! There is not a mini carrot in sight! Funny funny boy!
Back to Leigha... By the time she got it to the front (15 minutes later) it was about half the size, and the DIRTIEST snow ball you can imagine! She needed a little help to get it to its final resting place (right by our front door). She ran right inside because daddy had to see it, it took about 15 minutes for Don to have a break from homework to the point he could go out and see it, she opened the door, it was still there but there was a puddle too. I said "Leigha I think your snowman peed!" And no joke she goes "It's melting! (just like from wizard of oz!)" I LOVE these kids!
When they finally came in, the hot chocolate was warmed up and we enjoyed a cup together (hot chocolate is my winter meth... I am addicted!)
Day #15: I am grateful for silly chilly chillens... and andes peppermint hot chocolate to warm them up.
Tonight was Leigha's 2nd grade play... Squirm! Leigha was a black widow and she was cute! The whole thing was so cute (but I am a bit biased towards my little black widow... which is weird because I am TERRIFIED of spiders!!!!)
I am so grateful for her and for her excitement and enthusiasm.
Day #14: I am grateful for how cute Leigha is (again)!
Today was a great... I did not get a lot done... but it was a great day! I have amazing wonderful friends I am SO grateful for them and their HUGE impact in my life. I have mostly always been blessed by wonderful women, especially as an adult.
I was going to write a huge long post about them all from the time I was born until now (in fact I just did, but deleted it because who wants to read that???).
This morning I got to visit with Michele... Can I just say.. I LOVE her so much?! I don't think we can go more than 5 minutes before one or both of us is busting up laughing! She is totally gorgeous, but a TOTAL nerd (she might punch my face for saying it, but I am just repeating her). She is kind and sweet and thoughtful. She is creative and silly and we are similar in A LOT of ways (except I'm not tall). I love getting to talk with her and laugh with her. I love every time we get to hang out, I always leave happier than when I showed up (or she showed up). We make great plans together (even though we are not the best at following through with them all the time). I have loved serving with her and getting to see her love for the 8-11 year old girls (I am so excited that now Leigha is one of those girls and gets to be blessed by Michele's sheer awesomeness)
Today I got to go hang out with my friend Erika... She is amazing, and I love to be around her. We can talk for HOURS and it seems like minutes. She is one of the kindest people and has the MOST polite kids I have ever met! I am so grateful that we became friends last year... It kinda stinks that she lives in "the ditch" (I heard that for the first time one Monday and have been waiting for an opportunity to use it... I don't know if that was the best way but I gotta do it!), but it has proven to me that we are going to be friends for the long haul, and I am super grateful for that!
Then my friend Cadie came over. I have only known Cadie for a few months, but it has been long enough to know that she is one remarkable woman! She is teaching herself to knit, and has done the CUTEST things (She is actually knitting fairy tale creatures!). She has 2 adorable kids whom my children LOVE. It is so fun to watch Leigha and Conner with Trent (mostly Leigha). It is almost how I would imagine them with a younger sibling... except Trent is taken (darn it!). We are working on being better moms, and it is great to know that she has my back (plus she is letting me borrow a great book to read as well... hopefully someday I will have this mom thing down). We ended up playing outside, which at Parkway is ALWAYS fun!
I love living in our apartment complex, we have the coolest people (not that the cool people in my life are exclusive to Parkway, the are just more easily accessible). There is hardly ever a time where we are not joined by friends or daily invited to be with friends.
While we were out Angela and Cydney came to join us. I don't know Cydney very well... Yet... but what I do know I absolutely LOVE! We have a lot of the same interests and hobbies and we compliment each other (literally and figuratively) in a lot of ways. I am excited to get to know her more!
(I saved the best for last) I love Angela! I am so grateful for her in my life. We get to see each other on more than a daily basis (which is always so fun!). Angela is one of the most kind and genuine women I have ever met. She is positive and sweet and I learn SO much from her. She has amazing boys and I am SO excited to meet her amazing girl, I hope she is just like her mom! She is SUCH a great example to me and every time I am around her I learn something new, feel uplifted, and want to be a better person. I feel so blessed and lucky to have her as a friend! She amazes me with the things she is able to do, she is always serving, baking bread, working out, and just being fabulous! She is an amazing listener and cares deeply for everyone around her. She is strong and courageous and has her head on straight.She is humble and sweet and one of my heroes (if you could not tell by now).
I am grateful for my visiting teachers who called me today. I love Wendy and Laura. They are so kind and sweet. They are remarkable women of great strength and so in-tune with the spirit. I got to talk to Wendy yesterday and she is just one of the coolest people. I talked to Laura today and I am so grateful for her, she is not reminded enough of how amazing she truly is, so if she ever sees this I want her to know: I think you are amazing Laura! I hope I can show her more often.
I am also blessed to be married to my best friend and the daughter of my other best friend, and mom of my best friends, and the sister to my other best friends. I am blessed to have a lot of best friends.
I am so grateful for all the other amazing friends in my life right now. Last night I had a blast with some of them getting some frozen yogurt, it was fun to get to sit around and chat for an hour and a half and just have fun. Thank you Ashlee, Melanie, Kelli, and Angela and Stephanie! It was a such fun night! I am grateful for Katy, Wendy, Laura, Mandy, Aleesha, Connie, Rachele, Megan, Haylee and so many more super awesome friends.
Thank you to all of my old friends as well. Thank you for helping to shape me into who I am today. Thank you for your prayers, thank you for your support, thank you for your examples, thank you for all the times we have spent together from what ever era of my life you are from. Thank you for everything you have done... I LOVE YOU!
In my patriarchal blessing it tells me about my selection of friends and that we tend to become like whom we associate with, and to only chose friends who are really really cool (paraphrasing). I am so grateful that I have heeded that and have been blessed to find as friends the BEST people on the earth!
I am grateful for my Savior as my friend as well. I am grateful for his abiding love! I am grateful that when I did not feel I had anyone that I had Him, and even now that I have such an amazing support group that He is still there and that He is reflected through each of my friends.
Day #13: I am grateful for the best friends ever... past, present and future!
Twelfth is a really weird word... Just had to say that :)
For several months Don and I have been talking about what I will do when Conner goes to school, I have done a lot of praying and a lot of researching of what I think would be best for my family, and be able to help Don through school the most.
About 3 weeks ago Don had to register for classes and looking at how much he has left to accomplish we decided it might be a good thing for me to look for a job early in order to get through school faster. We prayed about it and the next day in RS I was talking to my friend Wendy (she is also my vt), and we talked about her job (it is the same job I had been thinking of for months). She has been doing it for 9 months now and has found that she loves it. It just felt so right, and I told her that was what I wanted to do next August when Conner goes to school. She said she would keep her eyes open and let me know if she saw any openings.
The RS lesson that day was about Elder Bednar's talk in this last General Conference. It is entitled: The Windows of Heaven. The lesson was on the blessings we receive when we are faithful (especially with tithing) and there were certainly some things that stood out to me: We may need and pray for help to find suitable employment. Eyes and ears of faith (see Ether 12:19) are needed, however, to recognize the spiritual gift of enhanced discernment that can empower us to identify job opportunities that many other people might overlook—or the blessing of greater personal determination to search harder and longer for a position than other people may be able or willing to do. We might want and expect a job offer, but the blessing that comes to us through heavenly windows may be greater capacity to act and change our own circumstances rather than expecting our circumstances to be changed by someone or something else.
It seemed like this and many other things were exactly what I was praying for that day.
True to her word, the next day Wendy came visiting teaching and we got talking about the job more. She let me know that she did know of an opening and that it was at Leigha's school. I am sorry I failed to mention before, but the job would be as an Instructional Assistant (teachers aid) I would have the same hours and holidays as my kids! The pay here in Elko is very good, so it would mean Don could go to part time work and full time school. There was one catch... the opening for the job ended the next day.
I have not done a resume or cover letter, much less an application in nearly 9 years! I felt lost at what to do... My amazing sister Janice was there to help me every step of the way. In fact she practically wrote my resume for me and really helped me with the cover letter. (THANK YOU NANI!!!) And this was the week that Leigha was getting baptized so we had SO much going on with that and Halloween and her birthday and feeding the sisters and family coming and and and... I did not know if it was right but I knew I needed to exert my faith and show Heavenly Father that I was listening and willing.
Miraculously we were able to get everything done in time and I quickly heard back from them, and had an interview that Friday. The interview went great, it felt great, it felt right, and I was very optimistic. Then day after day went and I became less confident, and I wasn't sure that it was even the right thing anymore, but I held on to my answer that this is the right job, even if it is not the right time.
Today I heard back and I didn't the job. I am totally fine though because I know that if it were right that I would have gotten it. I also know that when we feel something is right, and the answer is no that it does not mean the door is shut, it might just be a not now. Those answers are sometimes the hardest to get but through them you can receive great blessing through practicing continued faith in your answer. Elder Bednar also said this: Sometimes we may ask God for success, and He gives us physical and mental stamina. We might plead for prosperity, and we receive enlarged perspective and increased patience, or we petition for growth and are blessed with the gift of grace. He may bestow upon us conviction and confidence as we strive to achieve worthy goals. And when we plead for relief from physical, mental, and spiritual difficulties, He may increase our resolve and resilience.
I don't feel that the door is shut, I don't feel that the answer is a "no". I am grateful for the answer not now, for the assurance that Don and I have set righteous goals with our Eternal family at the fore-front. I am grateful for a loving and knowing Heavenly Father who wants what is best for us.
I have received the answer of "not now" many times before, and for a lot of those instances I have been blessed to see the reason. Some of our not now answers have been turned to a yes, and some have been turned to a not now for mortality, and some of them have been turned to a no. Two years ago my biggest goal and dream and desire of my heart was to have more kids, twice I got the answer not now (I am so grateful I heeded that answer), and now the answer has changed. We will not be having more children. I am okay with it. It is still hard but I completely understand and have peace. I am so grateful that I can see and know that He knows what is best for me and for my family. If the answer had been yes it would have put my family in a nearly impossible situation, and both the baby and I might have been lost.
Right now it is not the time for THAT job, I am not going to quit trying. Now it is not children, but because of that answer I am given opportunities to grow and have a greater understanding. Elder Bednar also said this: I testify that as we are spiritually attentive and observant, we will be blessed with eyes that see more clearly, ears that hear more consistently, and hearts that understand more fully the significance and subtlety of His ways, His thoughts, and His blessings in our lives.
I have seen this promise fulfilled in my life, and I continue to see it fulfilled in my life now, and I hope that I can stay spiritually attentive and observant so I can see it fulfilled throughout my life.
I also found this inspiring (especially today), and I hope that I can continue to be grateful for ALL answers I receive from my Father in Heaven: (also from Elder Bednars talk)
The imagery of the “windows” of heaven used by Malachi is most instructive. Windows allow natural light to enter into a building. In like manner, spiritual illumination and perspective are poured out through the windows of heaven and into our lives as we honor the law of tithing.
For example, a subtle but significant blessing we receive is the spiritual gift of gratitude that enables our appreciation for what we have to constrain desires for what we want. A grateful person is rich in contentment. An ungrateful person suffers in the poverty of endless discontentment (see Luke 12:15).
Day #12: I am grateful for Not Now answers, and continued strength through continued faith. I am grateful for the loving guidance of the spirit to direct us and help us set goals.
I am also grateful that tonight I can go get fro-yo with friends... because I am slightly sad but some cake batter fro-yo can fix that :)
Today was a great day! First I wanted to say that I am grateful for Veterans (is it vet-er-ans or vet-rans?) Day! I am grateful for all the amazing men and women who have fought for our country (and other countries as well... I am 1/2 Canadian). I am grateful for the example of our grandfathers willingness to serve our countries.
This is Don's Grandpa... Don Tillman Squire Sr. He served in the US Army.
This is my Grandpa... Gerald Norberg Lind. He served in the US Navy.
This is my Grandpa... Sloan Alma Smith... He served in the Royal Canadian Air Force.
I love these 3 men so much and I am so grateful for their sacrifices and the sacrifices of millions of others and their families.
I am also grateful for the opportunity to be grateful (more than just in November). Tonight for FHE we talked about gratitude, I think being grateful is one of the VERY most important things, and I want to make sure that my children grow up to be grateful and not entitled. Everything we have is a gift, every breath, every memory (good and bad) and every second. I really hope that my children develop and attitude of gratitude.
When they were little (littler than now) whenever there was a tantrum we would ask them if they were having an attitude of gratitude or an attitude of bratitude (we would do this when they we being grateful as well so that they could be praised to being grateful... but admittedly mostly when they were being brats), and then we would name some things we were grateful for. This is probably something we should still practice.
When they got a little bit older we would play the game 5 things every day. To play 5 things you have to say 5 things you love about each member of your family, it was a lot fun and we all felt great after. Again another thing we should still practice.
Now I keep a gratitude journal and noticed the difference it made to me so we have made being grateful part of our bed time routine. Every night I sing them a lullaby (more sappy music are you surprised?) and in the middle we stop and Leigha and Conner each say 3 things they are grateful for that day. Then we keep singing and mommy (and daddy when he is available) name 3 things that we are grateful for as well, then we sing the first verse again. It has been so much fun, some of the things have been hilarious but also good things to be grateful for... like sinks... and toilets... and toilet paper (that's usually where I stop it). Anyways I love the opportunity to be grateful and we can be grateful for everything.
( I know more musicals... but who can resist em?... probably most of the world, but not this girl)
We sing:
When your tired and you can't sleep,
Just count your blessings instead of sheep,
And you'll fall asleep counting your blessings.
Leigha and Conner each do 3 things they are grateful for
When your bankroll is getting small,
Just think of when you had none at all,
And you'll fall asleep counting your blessings.
Me and Don do 3 things
Then we sing the first verse again.
OR WARNING....this video contains my singing... watch at you own risk!
I love writing thank you notes (even though I am not the best at mailing them... or anything really), and I hope to instill that in Leigha and Conner. Leigha is writing thank you notes to all of our wonderful family who came to the baptism, and everyone who helped with soups and things like that. I hope that it will instill in her a love of being grateful and help her to learn the language of being grateful. I know that as I have practiced being grateful the spirit has moved me to think of people to send thank you notes to (sometimes I do it, and sometimes I don't). It started out as a little thing and now I keep thank you noted with me pretty much all the time so I can do it when I am moved to... I keep them in my purse, in my scripture bag, in my car, and in my card box at home (I am kinda a card hoarder... it is a problem). I hope that one day I can feel that I am a truly grateful person.
So tonight for FHE we sang the song and I put it on the bottom of the tree... we talked about how it is a commandment to be grateful and that we need to be grateful for everything and in all things... it is one way we can show that we are a disciple of Christ. Then we made a grateful tree with our finger prints and I went back and wrote in the things we all had said.
(if you want a tree, let me know and I would be more than happy to email you one... or I accidentally printed off 2 so if you want it come and get it)
Day #11: I am grateful for opportunities to show gratitude (like these blog posts)
p.s. Thank you Ashlee and Angela for doing this with me, it is fun to be blogging again, and doing it with you is making it less awkward :)
I love the Sabbath and today was Stake Conference, it was great. Don did not come with us because he had a migraine. Which meant it was just me and the kiddos. Having both kids for 2 hours was quite... difficult! They are not used to lasting that long (neither am I) so I could totally understand. The conference was great though, especially the Adult Session... I loved it!
By the end, I had the head ache. We came home and Don's medications had kicked in and he knew I would not be feeling well (nothing big... I promise, just regulating my thyroid again) so he had lunch on the table for us when we got home. He is so sweet, and I love him so much! I am so glad his headache is gone, and hopefully mine will be gone soon too.
Day #10: I am grateful for taco salad, a sweet husband, and pain meds!
I know I did not get this done in time, but I had good reason (probably not GOOD reason, but good enough for me) I could not get the videos to download last night and I fell asleep (after 2 sleepless nights I think I really needed it!).
Yesterday was the first time we have gotten to spend a whole day as a family for a while, so we decided we would make it a family fun day! We all got to choose one thing we wanted to do, and poor Don was the only one who did not get to do what he wanted (but he got a nap instead so that was good right?).
Conner said he wanted to kiss mommy all day (aww and eww)... when I did not go for that he really wanted to show off his swinging skills to dad and sister so we spent some time at the play ground (actually, we spent A LOT of time at the playground... the aforementioned nap meant that mommy was out playing with the kiddos... see why I fell asleep?). We had so much fun and Conner surprised us again by learning how to skip bars on the monkey bars... this kid astounds me!
For Leigha's birthday my sister Juli gave her a ring making kit and she really wanted to do that. Mommy and Leigha made 12 rings and daddy and Conner played Mario party... A good time was had by all and the rings turned out WAY cute! We also ended up painting her jewelry box.
Next we did what I wanted to do... go shooting. The weather was perfect and we have decided (mainly since we are not HUGE Thanksgiving fans) that this will be our yearly November activity. We took our jack-o-lanterns to the shooting range, blew up some balloons threw around some clays and had a great time! I am so excited to see how this tradition will progress through the years... We are already talking that we need a pumpkin catapult, and at some point we want to try explosives (probably when the kids are teenagers... nothing says worlds coolest parent like a jack-o-lantern stuffed with some c-4).
Conner and Leigha both got to shoot a gun for the first time and they followed all the rules! And Conner pegged a balloon his first shot out! Leigha also did fabulously and once she got the hang of it was unstoppable! Here are some pics:
Here are some videos:
It was so funny... as we were leaving Don was asking the kids what they had learned about guns and gun safety and they said things like: Guns are not a toy, We do not touch guns if mom and dad are not with us, If we see red then the safety is not on and we step away and tell a parent, Don't aim a gun at anyone, Stay behind the shooter, and so on. Don said there are only 3 times where we should ever touch a gun what are they? I helped the kids by saying: What if we are hungry? Leigha said, then we could shoot an animal, but only if we are hungry because they are God's creation (I was so proud of her) Then we talked about practicing, and if we have to as a form of defense. Leigha then asks: What about animal sacrifices? It was so funny, she has been reading the Book of Mormon on her own and last week asked me what a burnt offering was and we talked about how before Christ was born they would offer the best animal as sacrifice. I reminded her that now we offer a broken heart and a contrite spirit, meaning that we will follow the commandments and Jesus, and be humble and love others as Jesus would love them.
At first I was worried about shooting the pumpkins because we had used them as an object lesson to talk about the light of Christ and the gift of the Holy Ghost, but I don't think the kids found any correlation with shooting them to smithereens (phew! that could have been really awkward).
The thing that Don wanted to do was go to the gym. He has set some really awesome and serious goals about his health, and I am ecstatic that he is sharing those with us! I am excited for him and the progress we will see. Instead we went grocery shopping and it was a less than pleasant experience so family fun day ended.
Day #9: I am grateful for our new family tradition and that we got to spend time together!
Tonight little miss Leigha got to go on a date with Miley and Mason (thank you so much). It was the funniest thing to watch her get ready. She changed her outfit 3 times (she even wore a scarf), she coordinated her purse, she brushed her hair, she put on lip gloss, she brushed her teeth, she sprayed herself with febreeze (yep you read that right... let the giggling commence). She was so excited she went in and out of the apartment every 5 minutes for an hour and then sat at the window like a puppy dog. She said it felt like an anniversary or special occasion and she wanted to impress Miley, it was SO funny!
Because she got to go to a movie that meant that Conner had the run of the house and he was equally excited to get to play the wii with mommy. He lined up the disk, he made sure the volume on the tv would be just right, he changed the batteries in the wii-motes, he asked every 3 minutes when Leigha was going to go so he could start to have his night too. When daddy started playing the wii I thought we might have full out tears as we waited our turn. We played cars in the meantime and Conner roll played that the daddy car was taking over the game... it was pretty funny (and hopefully it helped Conner work through some things too).
I get to spend A LOT of time with my little guy, and I cherish every moment! He is the first to wake up of everyone else which means every morning he comes in and snuggles me (unless by some miracle I am working out, then he comes to cheer me on). He tells me secrets all day, and every time it is the same one:
Conner: Wanna hear a secret?
Mommy: Absolutely! (bending down to get a hug as well
Conner: I love everything about you! Do you want to tell me a secret?
Mommy: Absolutely!
Conner: I know I know, I love everything about you, it is always I love everything about you
It has gotten to the point where all we have to say to each other is wanna hear a secret and an immense amount of love pours out without even hearing the words.
I LOVE Don with all my heart, and I adore my precious Leigha, but there is something about my boy that just fills me up and my cup runneth over with love. (ready for a sappy video? this song seriously is in my head all the time with Conner and I find myself randomly singing it to him ((more broadway stuff... I know I have a problem)) ... welcome to my mind)
(here is proof for the pudding... this picture was taken and edited over 3 years ago... but seriously with cuties like that how could my cup not run over?)
I cannot pin point just one thing I love about this kid, because I just LOVE it all (except maybe the whole wii obsession that gets to be a bit much at times, and he is about the laziest little guy in the world) I love his energy and excitement and pure joy at simple things, like making a ring toss... you cannot see it here but the one he hit before he yelled: Boo-ya take that! (this is in the library on Halloween... doesn't the wig just reveal so much of his personality?)
I love that his favorite number is 1,089... I have no idea why but it is just great. I love that he loves to be kind and be a good friend. I love that he loves to be with me (except shopping, but even then he is good), but that he also knows how to keep himself entertained and be happy. I love that he is brave and strong and knows what he wants and challenges himself to do it (except for riding a bike, he has no desire for that and when he has no desire he is as stubborn as a mule)
This was Conner today, he just started jumping off the swing on his own.
I love that he is smart and can make the coolest connections. Here is a conversation from a few weeks ago:
(driving up Spruce by the construction yard)
Conner: Look mom a crane!
Mommy: Yeah, good job buddy.
Conner: Speaking of cranes, I have something important I need to do today.
Mommy: (quite surprised that her little man is acting SO grown up, and slightly giggling) Oh yeah? What is that?
Conner: I need to watch a movie.
Mommy: (now laughing out loud) How does a crane remind you you need to watch a movie?
Conner: Kung Fu Panda mom... crane... crane... duh.
Mommy: (now just laughing) what happened to my little guy?
Conner: I turned five.
I love that Conner loves music and is always singing and dancing, he has ALWAYS loved music (need more proof? too bad you are going to get it!)
