Push up your cheeks and show your teeth!

Today I had an experience with Conner.... one that makes my heart melt and call everyone I know! Se were sitting there and I said: "How are you so cute?" Conner's response was awesome! He said:" I just push up my cheeks and show my teeth." I started to giggle and he said" Look! You can do it too!" I love him so much and he really does make me smile.

Lately I need to remember that I need to push up my cheeks and show my teeth a bit more. I love that he described it to me and that it was an action. I think I have gotten into the rut that happiness should just be there, and I forget that happiness is a choice and action.

I love in 2 Nephi 5:27 it says "And it came to pass that we lived after the manner of happiness." It doesn't say and happiness was just there and we were happy or life was easy and we were happy. In the versus previous it talks about how they worked, how they found metals built a city and a temple, that was not easy but they were able to work and be happy. It talks about how they were separated from their brethren who had been disobedient and I am sure that there was a lot of pain that came with that, but they were able to work through it and be happy.

I am not having to build a civilization or be separated from the ones I love but I am ashamed to say that I have been struggling to be happy. I have put on hold things I was working on and I feel that I have been pushing people away and polarizing in my thoughts. These are both recognizable things that I do when I am not happy and I NEEDED that cute little reminder from my adorable son that happiness is something you do, something you choose and then it can become something that you are. So I am going to focus a bit more on Pushing up my cheeks and showing my teeth. :) I am also going to work harder to live after the manner of happiness. I know what makes me happy and I just need to make sure that I live!

Plus with these 2 cuties how could I not help but smile :)

Excited and Nervous!!!!

I had a way cool experience this week. One that I hope I will never forget (hence the reason that I am recording it). Even though it is not over, and I am not sure how it will turn out I am still excited about it.

Tuesday night (after my sweet kiddos were asleep) I sat down to watch a show I like watching. It is called Switched at Birth, it is not the greatest show but I enjoy watching it because half of it is in sign language. I took 3 years of sign language in high school. although I do not know how much I actually learned. (uh-oh here comes an explanatory side-note!)

Side-note: My first year of sign language was taught by a deaf woman, and that was great. I loved Mrs. Swain. The only problem was that she brought her newborn baby to class with her, and the baby would cry all through class and Mrs. Swain had no idea. It was really cool to have her as a teacher though, but the next year she decided to be a stay at home mom.
Thus enters my second year of sign language (I love it when I can say stuff like thus enters, it makes me feel like my life belongs on the history channel... that and hence or thence), which was undoubtedly the least educational for me. We got Ms. Bezzant, (pronounced Bezz-ont, like the french not Bezz-ant like the bird ((I feel bad, but I think she must have been relentlessly teased about it, because if any called her Bezz-ant she would start to twitch)) ) who was probably only 6 years older than us (and constantly reminding us). She was bi-polar and was just really...odd. She would give us a test and then at the bottom of the test have personal probing questions that were supposedly "anonymous", even though they were on our test... with our names (never figured that one out). Questions like, how would you rate me as a teacher? Needless to say she needed A LOT of outside affirmations to function as a human being. If she did not get those affirmations things went a bit wonky. One time she got a negative review (I pity that poor un-anonymous "anonymous" tester ((who probably did not understand that their name was still on the test))), she was not happy and she disappeared for 2 weeks off to see her 63 year old boyfriend who lived on an army base in Kentucky. You know that if after 14 years I can still remember his name, rank and base that there were too many classes focused on him and not sign language. Plus there were MANY other odd things in that specific class that seemed to eat up the year. Such as our end of year review which ended up being her signing Celion Dion, My Heart Will Go On (Diva-ish right?) in her prom dress.
My third year was much better, but by then I was in advanced ASL and was still finger spelling every other word. Our teacher that year (yes surprisingly Ms. Bezz-ont was not able to return) was Clay. He was a recently returned missionary who served ASL to Palmyra New York. He grew up signing because his twin brother was deaf (who got to serve the same mission as him, cool right?). He was a great teacher and advanced ASL seemed like a bunch of friends quietly hanging out, as we were not allowed to speak at all.

End of long side-note. After I watched my episode of Switched at Birth I went to bed and had an awesome dream. I was at the Church and there was a ward party going on I looked over and I saw a 12-14 (ish) year old girl (I am beehive adviser so I was intrigued) signing to her mom. I went over and signed to them. It turned out that they had just moved to Elko, and had been inactive for years, but had gotten an invitation and wanted to come and see what the ward was like.  I do';t remember too much else about the dream but I woke up so HAPPY!

I woke Don up and told him about the dream, I was so excited and refreshed. I told him, it felt like it was kismet!" I was happy all day and even told my mom about the dream and how happy it made me later that afternoon.

That night I received a text message from the sister missionaries in our ward. Here is how it went:
Sisters: Sis Squire! WE are trying to find someone who knows enough sign language to visit a less active sister with us. DO you know ASL? -Sisters Messervy and Purcell-
Me: How funny! I had a dream about that last night! I don't remember a ton, but I can try and brush up
Sisters: That's so awesome! We tracted into her last week and we didn't know any so we waved and walked away. But we went back and wrote a note haha. How soon will you be ready to go on a visit? <:\> -Sisters Messervy and Purcell-
Me: You let me know and I will try and do my best


To keep it short (like I have ever done that), we are going tomorrow after church. I am nervous and excited (hence ((yay!)) the title of this post). I have been watching General Conference talks in sign language to try and brush up, and hopefully everything will go smoothly.

I thought this experience was just too cool not to try and remember or share for that matter. Heavenly Father knows us, He loves us, He prepares us, and He helps us to be what He wants us to be, and to bless His children. even if this sister is not receptive it has strengthened my testimony and made me more excited about life and missionary work. So if you get the chance, please utter a little prayer that everything will go well tomorrow. Thank you!

November Thirtieth... We made it!

It has been so fun (and not always easy) to blog for the last 30 days, this is the most consistent I have ever been. Thank you Angela and Ashlee for doing it with me, it has been so fun to see what you have been grateful for, and I have learned a lot about you, and from you :).

Today I am grateful for legacies. A legacy is the whole reason I started this blog. I wanted to carry on my grandfathers legacy of leather work. I have not been the best about doing it, and I hope to get better as I try to do it more. I did however do some leather work this week. Leigha helped too with the deer, one is for her and one is for her friend.

The Nativity scene I have been wanting to do for a while, and I was really happy with how it turned out until a drip of water from my stain brush landed on Mary's forehead and now she looks Indian, oh well.

I have been reading a lot of family history stories, and have been working on turning one of them into a children's book for my family. It has been so much fun to look how the little things that people did were what turned into the biggest things for our whole family. I am so grateful for their choices and the legacies they have left behind for me. I am grateful for the legacy of strength and hard work but most especially of faith and for the gospel. I hope a testimony of the gospel is a legacy I will be able to pass on to my children and all of my descendants. 

I am grateful for my grandpa's legacy. I am so grateful that I have gotten to be so close to him, and that I was able to live with him and my grandma for one of the hardest times of my life... the teen years. I am grateful for their legacy of love and faith and endurance. I am grateful for their legacy of service. They served 4 missions together and I am so grateful for their amazing example. My grandmas legacy has changed my life as well, she had cancer for 34 years and never let it stop her from doing the most important things (including all 4 of those missions). I am so grateful that I was able to watch them and see how they lived their lives day to day. I loved sitting at the top of the stairs every night as I secretly listened to them study the scriptures together and talk about how much they loved the scriptures. I gained so much from their examples.

I am grateful for my mom and the legacy she is leaving me. She is the most kind and gentle woman. She is also so strong and a miracle. I remember almost every night from sneaking listening to my parents to my moms room to say good night, and nearly every night the door would open a crack and then stop because it would hit my mom (I promise this was not abusive). She would be kneeling in prayer, and I would listen until she was done so I could give her a hug good night. I am so grateful for her legacy of prayer and of love.

I hope that I can leave a good legacy for my children. I hope they will know and never doubt how much I love them, and also how much I love the Lord.

I am grateful for the legacies of so many other people who have had a huge impact on my life.

Day #30: I am grateful for legacies.

November Twenty Ninth... Kiddos :)

Today I came to a realization that my kids are awesome (this is not the first time I have come this realization, it's about a daily occurrence). They always have been awesome. We love them, they are hard and crazy but simply amazing. I am so grateful for my kids and for who they are, and who they are becoming.
Today, specifically, Don and I are grateful for their desire to be good and especially to be healthy. We have not been the perfect examples of health, not even close. But they understand how important it is to be healthy and they encourage us in our goals. Here are just a few examples from today:
-the kids encourage Don to go the gym, and mommy to get some needed rest to get better
- the kids helped us get up and get moving at the park by playing tag
- the kids are seeing how Don is succeeding at his goals and they are letting him know how proud of him they are
- the kids are constantly eating fruits and veggies, we actually have to get after them to stop eating so many vegetables... and then we look at each other in bewilderment and gratitude
- the kids instead of asking for a snack ask specifically for a healthy snack.
- the kids come in and join me or cheer me on when I exercise (which was not today, but I am still grateful for it)
- tonight we had jello for dessert and they ate lima beans instead (and cucumbers, cauliflower, broccoli, and carrots)

I am so grateful for them and for how strong they already are. I hope that Don and I can help them to stay this way forever so hopefully they won't have to deal with the same challenges we have. They are wonderful examples to us, and wonderful motivators and I love them SO much! They make life fun and worth it, even when it is hard (which is a lot of the time). They are so strong and silly and just plain wonderful.

Day #29: I am grateful for overly happy and overly healthy kids.

November Twenty Eighth... Happy Thanksgiving!

Today did not turn out quite as we had expected... case and point, we are in Elko! I just kept getting sicker and we decided that it would be best to stay here.
Even though we have not done anything remotely Thanksgiving-y, it has been a great day. I am grateful for this time to kind of re-coup and get better. I am grateful that Don has been taking care of me, and that he has whole weekend off (although I hope I am better by tomorrow). I am grateful that we did not go to Utah, I think it would have been too hard, and although we miss seeing family and eating the fun foods it is better to not get them sick too. I am grateful that my kids were accepting, even though mommy being sick and not going to Utah is hardest on them... especially since they know they are having hot dogs for dinner (hot dogs have to have some turkey in it right?)
We had a great Thanksgiving and we hope you did too!
Happy Thanksgiving

Day #28: I am grateful for my amazing family! I am grateful for health (soon to be health)! I am grateful to be here in Elko, for a nice warm apartment, and wonderful friends. I am grateful for so many things.

November Twenty Seventh... Juice

Today I am sick, my throat hurts. I am really grateful that I had some juice to sneak down it.
Juice has helped my life so much this year. It has helped me get and stay in remission, it has helped me lose weight and feel better about myself. It has helped my family get on a path to being healthier, and my kids love it! It has helped my skin, it has helped my eyes, it has helped pretty much everything.
I am not a "serious juicer", but with the amount that I have done it has truly helped me.

Day #27- I am grateful for Juice, and produce, and healthy living. Happy Thanksgiving tomorrow!

November Twenty Sixth... Unproductive Days

Today I did not get everything done that I had planned on, in fact I hardly got anything done at all! This stresses me out beyond belief but I am grateful for the things that I was able to do today, even though they were not on "the list".
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE to do lists, it is pretty much how I run my life. I really enjoy being able to check things off, and being able to track progression and accomplishments. I had a to do list, and it went out the window. Most of the time this would be really hard for me (especially since we are leaving to go to Utah for Thanksgiving and there is nothing I dis-like more than coming home to work), but today I was able to other things that were equally as important (probably not, but to me they seemed that way at the time.
Hopefully tomorrow I will be able to kick it into gear and get EVERYTHING done, even the things that I started today that weren't on the list.

Day #26: I am grateful for to-do lists, but today I am even more grateful that I was able to get more important things done.